MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!

For the past 3 weeks, the church's message has been all about finances. From the first Sunday, I have decided to give my tithes again. As I have not been doing so for the time I have been away from church.

So by the time I gave my first tithes to my new home (vcf pa din pero greenhills na, mas malapet than gale, hehehe) this has been running through my mind: "oh Lord ayan ha, i gave na my tithes, yun na lang muna, the other things you want to deal in my life (e.g. sins, sins, and more sins), next time na. Yung tithing muna, yun muna obey ko! siguro naman, okay na sa yo yun!"

promise, this was really running through my head everyday for the past 2 weeks. why? just now i found out why it would run in my mind. why i had to sort of defend myself from God. here's the answer:

God has been dealing with me, stuff in my heart! stuff about my disobedient heart. so unconsciously, i have been negotiating with God as if pwede! para bang, "Lord, wag na muna yang mga yan, tsaka na yan, nag tithes na nga ako, helloooo Lord, major leap na yan for me! Sacrifice yan ha, and Lord, it has been my biggest tithe to date, so siguro naman mejo dito muna kayo mag fofocus! yung sinasabi mo sa ken, postpone muna naten to a later date!"

2 weeks na ganito ako!

up until last night, as i was to sleep, napatingin ako sa Bible ko (well, actually, yung family Bible, na kailangan ng mapalitan), and God just reminded me to just take it, and continue my reading with the book of Samuel. I was on the 15th chapter already.

As I was reading through chapter 15 (it was all about the Lord rejecting Saul as King because of guess what, disobedience hahahaha, talk about perfect timing). Samuel has told Saul that he disobeyed God. Saul argued that no, he did not disobey God. He did exactly as he was told. He destroyed everything during their war with the Amalekites. Then Samuel said, "what's with the sheep and the cattle" Then Saul argued that he brought the plunder to sacrifice to the Lord. Then the most powerful verse hit me:

"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. "

And right then, I knew what God is saying to me is clear! He doesn't need my partial obedience. I need to obey him fully -- in every aspect of my life.

Then I instantly made a decision, from that moment on, I am deciding to obey God. And my prayer to God was, "Lord, you know what I am about to face deciding to obey you. You know very well how easily I fall, I cannot do it on my own Lord, I need your grace every second of every day! Cuz without it, I certainly will fall."